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Raising Kids To Be Independent Adults – Guest Merrilee Boyack. Episode 41

Every parent wants their children to grow up and be independent, responsible adults, right?  But how do we do this? This week we have the opportunity to talk to Merrilee Boyack. Merrilee Boyack is an estate-planning attorney.  She is also a professional lecturer and speaks all over the country. Merrilee has been featured for many years at BYU Education Week and Time Out for Women, and is a published author.  Her current passion is working with Family Watch International as President for Utah. She is working to protect families and children at the international level at the United Nations and in supporting governments around the world to institute measures to protect families.  

This week we enlist the help of Merrilee Boyack to teach us her “Master Plan” for teaching kids the life skills they need to be prepared to leave our homes and live on their own.  Here is what we talked about:

  1. Merrilee’s family
  2. Why Merrilee decided to write a book about teaching life skills to kids.
  3. The three basic parenting principles.
  4. Principle #1: You are not responsible for making your children happy all the time.
  5. Looking at your child’s frustration and unhappiness as learning opportunities.
  6. Principle #2: The best self-esteem for children comes from being able to do things on their own.  
  7. Self esteem comes from doing things kids know are important.
  8. How parents can give up control to allow kids to learn important skills.
  9. Principle #3: Remember that we are the parents and we are in charge.
  10. Making marriage the center of the family instead of the children.
  11. Merrilee’s “Master Plan” for teaching kids life skills so they will be ready for adulthood.
  12. How to implement the “Master Plan” without total rebellion from the family.
  13. The importance of giving children ownership over their own life skills.
  14. Best time of year to work on life skills.
  15. How to approach teaching life skills to teenagers.
  16. Involving other people in teaching your kids life skills.
  17. Rewarding your children after mastery of a skill.
  18. Helping kids find their own desire to master skills.

Mom Squad Challenge

Come up with your top three goals for ALL your children. Write them down and post them somewhere.  Figure out the first steps necessary to reach those goals.

Connect With Merrilee

Merrilee’s Website

Merrilee’s Facebook page

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“You are going to be paying bills the rest of your life...sometimes parents put the life skills at the end of the list after the job, the sports and the schooling ...when they need to move it up in priority.” Click To Tweet “When Parents are in charge, Children feel secure” Click To Tweet “My end goal is to have these children be capable and independent adults.” Click To Tweet

Merrilee’s Favorite Parenting Books

Merrilee’s Favorite Fiction Book 

Other Books Mentioned 

2 Comment

  1. This has been one of my favorite episodes! I love it! I have always thought my goal was to produce self-reliant, productive members of society. I wish I would have known about the book and structure sooner! But I am excited to use some of these things on my three boys (16, 13, 9)!

    1. Tina,
      Yes! I feel the same way about wishing I would have known about this sooner. I figure my oldest kids are all doomed 🙂
      Thank you so much for writing in, for sharing your thoughts, and for being part of our Mom Squad!

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