Mom Fail Corner

We love mom fails because ALL MOMS have them but our society is so aimed at perfection that no moms WANT to admit and share them. Instead, they are hushed. And shamed. Instead of moms having a cathartic laugh at all the imperfections, they  feel underqualified and overly flawed.

We believe in being the best moms that we can be, but we also believe that there is a HUGE difference between a mom who is trying and a mom who is perfect.  Perfection doesn’t actually exist (outside of social media)! Real life equals successes and failures with a goal to learn from the past and do better on the next go round…maybe….it might take a few go rounds.  So let’s enjoy life’s imperfections and let’s have a good laugh at those times when we mean to soar but instead we trip on our own feet, hit the wall, and fall down the stairs into a laundry basket full of dirty socks!  

Scientists in the Making – Kathleen

A few years ago, we visited my in-laws with our 4yo, 2yo, and newborn. My sister in law came over with her 3 kids. The two of us were chatting on the sofa with our babies while our 4 “older” kids (all 4 and under) played. I assumed they were in the basement because that’s where I saw them last and that’s where the toys are. All the sudden my 2 year old starts crying. I said, “ugh. The crying lately is out of control. She’ll come to me if she needs something.” Well, she didn’t.  The crying didn’t stop after 5 minutes and I went to the basement to find her. The kids weren’t down there. I went back upstairs and followed the sound of her crying… to the garage… where she was frantically trying to come back inside, but couldn’t reach the handle. In the garage, the 4 kids had managed to make a huge mess… they poured a concoction of Round Up, ant spray, car washing soap, and whatever else was on a low shelf! It was a huge puddle right in the middle of the garage. My sister in law and I sent the kids inside and cleaned frantically before my in-laws got home. We sat down again and started talking while the kids went out back to play. My mother in law got home and quietly got a rag and went out back… where the kids were throwing huge balls of mud (from the garden) at the white fence. Four years later and I have finally learned to keep a close eye when those 4 get together!

Mornings When the Fates Combine Against You – Lisa

Woke up this morning to a quiet house, all the kids were still asleep which is fine except it’s shower day and school, so I go wake up all the kids that need to get up and thankfully not the two youngest that don’t need to be up. Kids come down 20 minutes later but they didn’t shower, they apparently were playing. I start making breakfast and lunches. I needed snack sized Ziploc bags from the garage so I head out there only to find that the popsicle run yesterday made for a disaster…. Freezer door not closed all the way (how did my husband walk by that when he got home and not see it?!?!) So I’m upset, there a lot of food that is now melted, thawed, etc. I go in to finish getting kids ready, upset but not losing it, though I do warn the child that left it open that she better eat all her breakfast and no complaints… Time to go, oldest is pestering sister who is now so grumpy that she won’t uncurl from the ball of pouting on the couch. Third child has “no shoes” because she hates all her shoes, also she hates that it’s always hot (we live in Phoenix) and the only shoes that fit are too hot to wear. Dad is ready to leave but girls are still barefooted and crying or still pouting about having to get shoes from room before she gets socks on. Dad leaves with oldest while I am still sorting through what from the freezer can be saved by cooking it immediately or thrown away. Crying increases because Dad left, I tell oldest daughter to go brush her hair, and start yelling… You didn’t shower, at least brush your hair so you don’t look homeless. 2nd daughter is now crying that her sister won’t let her in the bathroom I go up and all the yelling/crying has woken the two youngest… Oldest is naked with the tub running, I lose it. What are you doing getting in the tub when you’re late to school?!?! Get dressed, get downstairs, get to school!! Middle child is still refusing all shoes when Dad comes back. He sits patiently with shoeless and helps her debate the merits of her shoes and gets gets her to pick a pair. Older is in car waiting, but hair is still not brushed.
They leave and I cry.
It’s noon and I’m finally done cooking what could be salvaged and doing the mountains of dishes that resulted from making so much food. But my throat is sore from losing it and none of the food is appetizing because it’s tainted with the trauma of the morning. Sigh. With parent teacher conferences and Cub scouts and a relief society activity this week, I’m sure I’ll be glad to have so many precooked meals, right? Now to listen to the newest episode about self care, lol!

The Two Year Old V.S. The Fire Chief – Echo

In line with the story about the fire alarm at the Dr. office… let me just paint a picture…

my husband is one of the fire Captains at our local Fire house… and i would be that you can tell where this is going!
As a full time fire fighter he works for 48 hours straight. one night i took our kids down to visit, 5 yr old girl, 2 year old boy and i was about 7 month preggers with our 3rd. there was about 7-10 other people in the station that night enjoying dinner, we had stepped out into the hall way to use the restroom. My sweet inquisitive son was messing around… and well right there in the middle of the fire station he pulled the bright red handle! so plus we did not have to wait for all the trucks to show up to turn it off… but come to find out that alarm had a disconnect and the switch to reset the alarm was not working. so there had to be a call made into dispatch to let them know that it was a false alarm, and they had to call the fire chief; IE the BOSS to come help fix it… my husband was BEYOND embarrassed,. Needless to say we don not take our kids into the fire station any longer… we still visit but dad just comes out to the car where every one stays in seat belts!

The Irish Potty Mouth – Camille

I had to get some homework done so I found a show on You Tube for my kids (6, 3) that was basically little cars changing colors and being counted etc. I sat at the table next to them with headphones on and started working. Ten minutes in they were laughing their heads off and saying some sentence that they were repeating with the show. Slowly, through the haze of homework, I started to piece together what they are saying. I ripped my headphones off and….. yep….it’s what I was afraid of.   They were swearing along with the stupid cute kids video!!!!! Like the worst swearing ever! Dang You Tube!  I freaked out, turned off the show, and had a discussion about “that word”. Well, my son (6) gets it, and that’s great, but the stubborn Irish three year old now officially has a potty mouth and whenever we ask her not to say it she cries and cries and says how much she loves that word. Yep. It’s just great.  Mother of the year.

Why Is It Always Their Mouth?? – Melissa

One time my daughter was being so cute and pretending to use the watering can as a telephone. So of course I took a picture and started instagramming it. After I was done I turned around and she was shoveling dirt into her mouth….#momfail

Dinner “Running Smoothly” Is Only For Unicorn Moms – Annie

I made an awesome “chicken pot pie” last week. I had prepared some of it ahead of time so dinner would run smoothly. As we sat down to eat and I told my picky toddler exactly what was in it I realized I had left the chicken sitting in the fridge 😳. So much for planning ahead 🤷🏻‍♀️

Religious Educational T-Shirts? – Mindy

My husband was wearing a shirt with Patrick Swayze on it and my 3 year old son asked if it was Jesus. #momfail 😂

Only One Who In Whoville – Cali

I made my daughter’s hair up like Cindy Lou who for Grinch day at school … when she came home after school she informed me I read the paper wrong and Grinch wasn’t for another two weeks. 😬 There was only one Who in Whoville that day! 😂

The Unwritten Rule That Moms Will Never Win -Rachel

I enjoy exploring the great outdoors whether it’s going on a hike, or just for a drive. My children routinely complain about having to go on hikes so we decided to go for a drive Sunday afternoon, what did my children do?? Complain the entire time that they wanted to go for a hike instead. Just can’t win!

The Sweet Allure of Sleep – Camille

Sooooo….in an effort to “listen to my body” and do what I NEED, I decided to take a nap because the only thing I hear my body screaming most days is “SLEEP WOMAN!!! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU!!! 5 HOURS IS NOT ENOUGH!!!” (BTW, that’s a direct quote.) So I listened and obeyed. That’s probably where I went wrong. While I was blissfully sleeping for 30 whole minutes, my three year old emptied all of the clean cups out of the dishwasher (super helpful) and filled them all with milk (less helpful). She said it was her “lemonade stand”. She then decided that all of them needed straws and while obtaining said straws she was taken in by the shiny toaster. She proceeded to empty all of the things you see in the picture that’s behind her into the toaster, including graham crackers, straws, and chips. Luckily I awoke before she actually toasted them. Mom fail could have been mom disaster. Here’s to 5 hours of sleep! What things have your kids gotten into when you have succumbed to the sweet allure of sleep??

Even 15 Minutes of Sleep Is Enough – Ali

I had just had a brand new baby and was up most of the night with him. So during the day while the baby was asleep I accidentally fell asleep for 15ish minutes. That morning while my older three year old son was watching Clifford I cleaned out a closet and took out some craft paint and forgot to put it back in the closet. I woke up to our dog Lilly (who is an outside only dog) in a bedroom covered in red paint, so she “could be like Clifford.” Luckily it only got on a rug I didn’t like any way, and that he went Picasso on the dog and not the new born. Kids… gotta love them.

To Sleep In A Bed Or Not??? – Andrea

This is my eleven year old when he was two. He was a very busy, active little guy (sounds like a typical boy.) One day I looked over and saw him upside down by the computer. On closer inspection, I realized HE WAS ASLEEP! Yep, the poor kid had played so hard that he eventually just fell asleep as he was messing around on the chair!

You Stink! – Beth

My sweet little boy just got home from preschool. He came and gave me a hug then said, “Your body smells like you are sick” HAHAHA. His face is so cute I can’t be mad.

Sweet moment turned hurtful….maybe I should shower today. #momfail

Fight Or Flight Will Get You Every Time! – Camille

I went to a waterpark with my 10 month old baby. As I took him down the slide, I panicked when I hit the 4 FEET of water, and my feet went out from under me! I paid more attention to plugging my nose, as I flailed under water, than in HOLDING THE BABY ABOVE THE WATER. Brilliant. There I was. 4 feet of water. Flailing like a 1 finned dolphin. Baby drowning. I’m 5’4″. Mic Drop.

Never Underestimate the Power of a Christmas Roll – Mandy

I wanted to make an epic Christmas day dinner for my family with rolls from scratch. There was too much food in the oven and not enough room for the rolls, so the genius that I am thought I would just cook it on the bottom rack for a few minutes and then switch the food. Of course I forgot about them and burned the crap out of them. They were black! The funny part of this mom fail was that we still ate them! We pulled the tops off and threw away the bottoms. My husband took pictures, I will post them 🙂 I will Def be teased for years!

The Meaning Of Christmas – Angela

Last night I had a huge mom fail. My kids had been fighting all day yesterday and I had gotten after them several times. My oldest had been at the center of all of those fights. Just minutes before, as we read scriptures and talked about light the world, I had told them that it’s OK if they’re upset, but they can express their feelings in a calm and respectful way. They needed to find a better way to deal with the situation when they were mad. Just before bed a few minutes later, I heard them going at it yet again, and I just snapped. I stormed downstairs, I yelled at all of them to stop fighting. I’m screaming at them “find a better way to deal with it! DON’T YOU KNOW WHAT THE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS IS?!?!”

I was the perfect example of calm and respectful, right? 😬😬😬 I had to go apologize and acknowledge my bad choice with him, and promise that I would work on it too.

Never Underestimate the Power of Poo! – Emily

Hey! First time mom here #newbie
My mom got my 3 month old a new toy for Christmas, and I wanted him to play with it right away. I had him sitting in it, and while I’m sending my mom a thank you text, I hear it.
I think “I’ll just finish putting away this laundry, just to make sure he’s done…”
Wrong choice!
I come back into the room thinking he has something on his sock. He did. 💩 Dripping all down his leg and as he gleefully stomped it with his little baby feet into the carpet.
I feel like I could do a dissertation on Newton’s first law after having a baby. HOW? How does the poo get everywhere??? 😂
Baby went in the tub, fabric seat of the toy went in the washer, and please excuse me while I go rent a rug-doctor.

When Neighbors Tell You Your Kids Are “Funny” – Sulane

After working a long night shift on a Friday night, I finally fell asleep that morning after feeding the boys and putting the baby down for nap. About an hour into my nap my neighbor texted me to let me know that my boys were so funny and so cute, as I came out of my fog to read the text I asked her what they were doing (since they had been instructed to stay inside and watch a show so I could take a nap).   She replied that they were giving each other rides in the newly emptied garbage can up and down the road and were loving every minute of it. I was horrified at the amount of filth and germs inside that can!! Just one of the many many times my kids have gotten into trouble when the exhaustion from night shifts is just to much…

A Proper Bed – Stephanie

Cali (almost 2 yr old) slept in a dog bed last night bc we were too lazy to pack our crib for our Thanksgiving trip visiting family 😂 … at least it was new so not covered in dog hair 🐶 😉

A New Movie…”While I Was Holding the Sick” – Kara

My kid had ritz crackers for breakfast because I was holding the sick and thought it would be a good idea to let the two year old fend for himself.

A “Homemade” Cake – Matia

Long story…yes it is supposed to be cake and no it is not supposed to be in three tiers in my oven. I ended up going to the grocery store at 11:20 PM, buying an already done cake, scrapping all the frosting off (wrong flavor) and re-frosting and decorating it. Sigh. Good times.

Putting The Brakes on That! – Lindsey

A couple weeks ago while I was driving my son and his friend to kindergarten, he unbuckled right before we were going to turn into the school. He has been doing this lately even though I tell him not to and it drives me crazy (plus it’s very unsafe…probably should have said that one first). I told him to buckle, but he didn’t, so when I pulled into the school, I went into the drop-off lane and stopped quickly. I’ve done this before and the kids think it’s funny to get a little jolt. I don’t know if I stopped harder than usual or if he just unbalanced but he CATAPULTED towards the front of the van (middle seat was taken out so he traveled two rows!) from the very back seat, hit his stomach on the cup holder caddy in between the two front seats and he fell to the ground crying. He cried for just a second but then he couldn’t catch his breath because IT FREAKING KNOCKED THE WIND OUT OF HIM!! (Should I mention this is the first time this had ever happened to him so he was freaking out?!)
I told him, “that’s why you need to stay buckled,” but then I felt HORRIBLE once I saw that it knocked the wind out of him. I’m so glad his friend was in the car to witness what a terrible mother I was just then (not! I was so horrified I called her mom and explained the situation so she wouldn’t hear it first from the vantage point of a 5-year-old!).
Needless to say, he was late to school that day.

A Prayerful Family – Keri

I will never top this mom fail (I hope).
My daughter (who was four at the time) had a devotional that we did with her at night. (Starting off strong, right??)
One of the devotions suggested you do a five-finger prayer. Hold up your hand and pray for the different categories. The thumb symbolizes the people closest to you, the pointer finger is for teachers who point you to Jesus, the tallest finger is for people in authority over you (we prayed for the president), the ring finger is for people who need help and the pinky finger for yourself.  So we adopted this prayer with her.
She was with my parents and brother one day and I was ( pregnant at the time) at Target. My phone starts blowing up – texts, phone calls, etc. “Call me,” “What are you teaching Amelia?” “Why did Amelia just flip off the president?”  I call my mom and find out that the president (Obama at the time) came on the television and my precious four-year-old daughter stuck her middle finger up at the TV. When they asked her why she would do that, she told them that mommy taught her the middle finger was for the president.
Why, yes, yes I did indeed teach her that, didn’t I?  Facepalm.
I was crying laughing all through Target (and peeing my pants because pregnant). I don’t think any of us will ever ever ever forget that!
To summarize:
Never trust a devotional.
Every mother needs a good middle finger story.

The Avacado Pit and the Meat Mallet – Melissa

One day Clara asked to see the inside of an Avacado pit. I told her it was too dangerous to try to cut it in half because I might slice my hand. She is not dissuaded. She finds a meat mallet in the drawer and asks me to bust it open.  I know it won’t work,  but I think “why not?” So I hit the pit  a couple times.  She’s still not satisfied and wants me to hit it again.  Which I do.  And it shoots out from under the mallet directly into her eye which was right at Avacado pit level.  So our story ends with her screaming bloody murder and me laughing my head off because I can’t believe I got talked into that.